Looking forward is.
There is so much I want to do this year; so much I want to accomplish, so much I want to change or experience or learn. Actually, the list is too long to fit into 365 days. And it's not that I want to do these things so I can say I've done them, but more so that I can always have something to look forward to — something to always work towards.
And I know that that is what is also going to be my biggest challenge. I need to work. Work hard. Give it my all and do things I don't wanna do because I have to. I guess what I really need to do is grow up.
Asap.
Because 2014 is going to be one hell of year, no matter what I make of it.
I turn 17 - which means driving, which means independence, which means whether I want to or not, I'm supposed to be a grown up. (Sometimes.)
Perhaps most importantly, I have my Highers. These exams are so important that it's actually impossible for me to think about them without completely freaking out. I have my prelims (*preliminaries, which are just like 'mock' exams) as soon as I go back, beginning on the 20something of January. Then I just have more learning, more revising, more freaking out and stressing over deadlines that I will dig myself into the ground to meet — and then it's the exams themselves in May, and then it's a three/four (I don't even know) camping trip into the hilly countryside of Scotland. And then it's summer.
Which reminds me that I really should organise something about that...
What else? I don't know. To be honest, I'm not actually looking any further than those exams in May. They're gonna make me or break me, and I am only gonna allow for the former.
Which means work. Really getting down to business, getting my ass in gear, and god. damn. working.
Which... prooooobably won't be that fun at the beginning, but hopefully, is going to get better with time, and as I adapt. (*trying to look on the positive side here*)
So it's the new year. And what exactly does that mean for me?
It means turning over a new leaf. It means being stubborn — what I do best — and charging forward, something I'm also pretty damn good at. (Maybe it's a Taurus thing.)
Whatever happens, I know one thing for sure; I do not want to let myself down. And hopefully, I'm won't allow myself to.
(And yes, after this, I'm going to get started on that English homework I have been putting off for two weeks. I have one week before school starts again, and I have hours and hours of holiday homework lined up. So let's get studying.)
(...after I do some more blogging.)
;)
*
This is not a 'new year, new me' post. This means new year, better me.
